My Struggle with my Womb

Disclaimer: If you are offended by talk about a woman's ovaries and all that comes along with that feel free to stop reading. :)

I have always had a very haphazard relationship with my womb and more directly with my ovaries. I can't remember exactly when my menstrual cycle started but I remember that around the age of fifteen or so, it started to disappear for long periods before reappearing suddenly with a vengeance.

The pain and discomfort paired with heavy bleeding made me very glad when it did not come and I couldn't wait to see it disappear again. I was wishing for menopause at the age of 18.

This continued into my adulthood and I finally tested and found out that I had poly-cystic ovaries and all of the symptoms I have always complained of were tied directly into to this.

Now I had something to blame for my suffering, but no real answers on how to fix it. I dislike taking birth control pills because they always made me feel unbalanced and sick.

A series of seemingly unrelated events lead me to a where I am today. My periods are short and the pain I feel is little to none. Of of this I am starting to have a good relationship with my cycle.

The first change I made was switching from the sanitary napkins to using cloth pads. I then moved from cloth pads to a menstrual cup.

I also started to exercise more and eat healthier food. I noticed that exercise caused my period to come on a more regular basis, especially if it was very strenuous exercise and when it did come it only lasted three days when in the past my period lasted six days or more.

It was only in the last two months however that I added in the final step. I started to meditate and focus on healing the pain of my body and bringing myself into balance. In this act of mindful intention, I changed my view of my period and by extension my womb as the enemy and instead started to feel in control of the situation and was able to affect it powerfully and meaningfully.

Through this I realized that my general perception of any medical illness I experienced was that I was being afflicted and that my body was causing me suffering. This mental disconnect from the obvious fact that all of my body, no matter if it was 'malfunctioning' or not, was an extension of my being and worthy of my care and loving thoughts, was casting a haze of negativity.

Lifting that haze allows  me to work with the pain in my body and find solutions to improve any situation. I work together with my womb to make my menstrual cycle an enjoyable experience. It is a time of great intuition and creativity for me now that I am taking the time to tune into my inner spirit instead of being caught up in feeling sorry for myself.

Committing to viewing my health in a holistic way has affected all areas on my life, most notably my finances. I chose this year to budget to allow myself to tackle my health issues head on and after the conventional methods failed, I keep looking and I am finding more natural ways to keep my body in balance.

The journey is by no means over, but my ship is sailing with a strong wind in her sails.