The Coldness in Me

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In a crystal palace on a high mountain range
I sit on a throne and view the world through a looking glass
Through this looking glass
Everything seems distant and foreign.
Emotions bounce off the walls of my palace and dissipate like a mist,
Leaving me feeing unmoved.

Words of others are like echoes
Wafting through the haunting halls,
Fading before leaving a lasting affect on me

I wonder vaguely when the cold front came
I look at the ice covering my heart
How long has it been there?
Did I build this palace?

This coldness in me
It comes like a season
Thaws with a spring
But eventually
The leaves of enthusiasm and care
Drop from my life like leaves in Autumn

I try to a remember a time when I lived in summer
When I was always vibrant and feeling
I can think of no such time
I was always retreating to my palace
To this place of frozen rivers
And haughty judgements

In this Kingdom of oneness
Settled in to the solace of solitude
I wonder at the briefness of life
And the fickleness of emotion
That depths of love, hurt and pain
Can plummet like a waterfall
To a hundred foot depth
Of silent, calm disdain.